Every reflection I write about Last Token Gaming often ends up talking about my worries both personally and about the site. A lot of times they involve burnout, uncertainty, and frustration about numerous things. All of these worries come with the territory, and are always about maintaining a quality that we’ve held since the start.
However, most of it is putting too much on myself and having to learn to trust my team a lot more.
That isn’t a mark on their character, or their work ethic or their drive. It’s a desire to want to be part of something big, something exciting, and really wanting it to go a certain way. However, I’m constantly being reminded of two things that I’m learning to slowly embrace: 1) There’s only so much my creative output can match with my ambition and 2) Last Token Gaming is no longer just my project, but the project of more than 20 amazing people.
Last Token Gaming is nothing like what I’d envisioned it to be when it started two years ago, which largely fueled part of my burn out and the potential termination of the site. It’s hard to admit that now, and hard to admit that defeat was staring me right in the face. However, this year has been a lot of growing, learning and appreciating the vision, goals and concepts so many minds bring to the table. It’s a humbling experience to be able to let go of pride for the sake of making something better.
The other major thing that’s helped is relieving myself of the pressure of feeling like I have to review every game that came out — which undoubtedly had me losing a lot of interest in video games. I can’t count the many hours I’d spend in a game lamenting the fact that I’m not playing it to enjoy it – but to criticize. When gaming no longer can become fun, it makes it harder to want to turn on a system and be able to enjoy something once loved. Not to mention, my wallet and bank account despised me.
2015 has been such a different year that I think I’m finally starting to figure things out as well as finding something that makes gaming refreshing again. I’m taking the gas pedal off of trying to nab every gaming title I can get to play and release – that’s unrealistic and unhealthy. I’m going to take more time writing out my reviews to make sure every thought is fleshed out and has a purpose – sometimes I wrote just to write and not to bring a point. I’ll also be trying really hard to delve into video reviews to supplement my reviews.
I also plan on discussing the current gaming industry landscape critically. I remember when we first started these articles how honest they were. It’s refreshing material to read, and offers something different. Lastly, I’ll be taking on a challenge that I’ll be revealing a little into the New Year. It sounds fun, exciting, and above all a little more cost effective.
Truth is, Last Token Gaming has undergone a lot behind the scenes and inevitably become something much bigger, and greater, than I’d ever dreamed it to be. There’s this persistence by all of us to continue challenging ourselves to bring our best, and to keep on improving what I feel has already been a successful formula. Constant new ideas for features, challenges or ways to improve the site are brought up that are exciting. More importantly, there are no words to describe how excited and thankful I am to have the core team here. Everyone brings something unique to the table that is helping all of us grow in ways I don’t think we originally planned.
I don’t want this reflection to come off as egotistical, prideful, or narcissistic. I just want to highlight that this was a year that was less worrisome, less troubling, and more importantly, didn’t weigh so heavily like the year before. I want this to point out that no matter how hard the struggle can be, and no matter how overwhelming, there’s always a way to continue pursuing it.
Also, from all of us to you, dear reader, thank you. We love gaming, and equally love giving content that you all can enjoy. Thank you for holding us accountable with our opinions and challenging us to look at things differently than we originally had. Thank you for the dialogue, and above all thank you for reading our work. This journey wouldn’t be the same without every single one of you.
So a toast to 2015, and cheers to 2016.
Terry Randolph, Founder of Last Token Gaming